See, 2017 had been one f***ing hellish year of online dating for me and I was broken,tired and just plain done.
I wanted you more than my own soul but the sheer effort it was taking to meet a mostly decent, straight, emotionally and financially stable, quirky, interesting, well traveled and good man was killing me.
Just reviewing my top horrible online dating experiences of 2017 was nearly, but not quite enough, to put me off men forever:
- The Oversharer 2 who not only initially tried and succeeded at putting me off with his neediness but then had the f***ing audacity to bodyshame me six months later. Asshole!
- The Bad and the Ugly online daters who were either propositioning me for a three way or repeatedly asking for nudes when I had already said hell to the no!
- The Perfect Online Guy who got away and left me longing for a Drogo and Khaleesi fairytale ending that would never be.
- The Non-Date boy who, after making us go Dutch, said goodbye to me with a wave… and I bloody wore stockings and dress for this one!
- The DM Slider asswipe who wanted a back massage three messages in.
- The Ankle Interruptus Lothario who vanished without a trace when I tore my ligaments trying to get to him. Also, thanks for nothing, Jerk, my budding running career had been put on hold because of my date sustained injury.
- The cat-fisher who not only lied about his looks but was a borderline stalker too.
- The wanna-be Christian Grey who wanted to be dominated. Uhm, hard pass, thanks!
- The fool who stood me up. My ego and heart took a long time to get over this one.
While November 16 was my Name Day, I decided spending the entire month of November dateless and offline would be my gift to myself.
Even Cupid knows when he has f***ed up one too many times.