Tag Archives: over eager

How I Met Your Father : Mr Overeager Part 3

Kids, I’d pressed pause on finding your Dad in 2017 and thought that dealing with too-keen Lothario wanna-bes was a thing of the past…

overeager
Image credit: http://www.warpedspeed.com

Sigh..

Turns out that men in real life are just as thirsty and not ashamed to say it.

Meet Mr Overeager 3.

December 2017…

I met up with your Auntie Cynthia at the Cape Town Festival of Beer where she introduced me to her new friend Thirsten ( yup, his name is a dead giveaway!).

She’d met this 30 something-year-old law student at our local Slug & Lettuce, shown him a photo of me and invited him along to meet me, hoping we’d hit it off.

So far so good.

Bear in mind, though, that I have two types: tall, blonde,blue-eyed and handsome or tall, brunette, brown-eyed and mysterious.

I give you Exhibit A:

and Exhibit B:

Thirsten, though sweet, was Cape Town’s answer to Kevin Hart:

Kevin Hart
Image credit: Entertainment Tonight

Again, one cannot judge a book by its cover so while Cynthia wandered off to explore the Festival again, I invited Thirsten to tell me about himself.

Why?!Why did I even ask?!

Out came the long,sad story about how he’d been set up with a girl by his law firm colleagues just to mess with his mind; how she’d been lying to him the entire five months they were together and how she broke his heart.

Him:” But, you know what?”

Me: “No, what?”

Him: “I’m thankful she opened my eyes and heart to loving Indian Malay looking girls like you…”

Sweet Baby Jesus…are you kidding me?!

Thirsty AF
Image credit: Know Your Meme

As if that low-key racism and his constant touching me when I did not ask nor want him to weren’t bad enough, Mr Overeager 3 ended the evening on a spectacular douchebag note…

After I politely but very firmly told Thirsten that he could not join Cynthia and I at our next event ( a Pulse Boys male strip revue), he pulled Queen C off to the side for a hug and a talk.

A talk,as it turns out, in which he complained to Cynthia that he thought we were all going back to one of our places for a threesome.

WAIT…

Tropic Thunder
Image credit: Memegenerator

Bro, why can’t a nice afternoon spent at a beer festival,getting to know two beautiful women, just be that?!

Mother of f***ing dragons! Do all men walk around in this world assuming that every woman wants to sleep with them?!

And then to make that assumption out loud? F*** NO!

We kicked Mr Thirsty to the curb and wandered off into the night to get our Magic Mike thrills elsewhere…

How I Met Your Father: The Oversharer 2

Kids, coming back from New York in January 2017 was a hard and difficult task but I was determined to live each day of the New Year with brazen boldness and that principle needed to be applied to my dating life too.

So, and it was with great reluctance, I dived back into the online dating scene

Only to meet WarAngel03 on OkCupid, who seemed to check out okay, from his profile. Like books,though, never judge a man by his online profile.

The conversation started out with the usual small talk – where we’re from, what we’re up to etc- when , of course he wanted to move onto WhatsApp.

Now, as I have mentioned before, I wasn’t keen on moving to a more personal platform immediately if the guy in question wasn’t a stimulating conversationalist or was going to bother me at all hours of the day with senseless texts. I had a sixth sense this dude was going to be one of the latter and I was in no mood for it.

But, I had promised myself and my poor, long-suffering mother, I wasn’t going to be mean or offhand with guys in 2017, so I playfully asked WarAngel03 to tell me more about himself and why he was worthy of getting my digits.

Sigh…

Here is what he responded with:

screenshot_2017-01-10-14-17-41-01

screenshot_2017-01-10-14-17-54-01

Needy much? I didn’t have time for a repeat of Mr Overeager 2 . Sweet as he seemed, this oversharing did not make for an attractive match. I mean, come on, do I fucking look like Dr Phil to you??!

As Friends’Chandler would say:

thats-too-much-information
Image credit:  www.themidnightalliance.files.wordpress.com

Fuck it… NEXT!