How I Met Your Father: the one where we say goodbye to your Aunt Yolisa

Kids, in the winter of 2021, the truly awful, unexpected and unfair happened: we lost your vibrant, beautiful, feisty, larger-than-life Aunt Yolisa. She was only 41, far too young to be shuffling off of this mortal coil. While you have certainly heard the incredible story of How I Met Your Aunt Yoli over and over […]

Read More

How I Met Your Father: the one where it’s ok to let go

Kids, in the Autumn of 2020 and in the midst of the South African lock down, I was learning the age- old art of letting things go. You could call me the Queen Elsa of Emotionland: I’d learnt that when people choose to walk out of your life and leave you, let them. Pre- coronavirus […]

Read More

How I Met Your Father: The One with The Bumble Stumbler

Kids, in the Autumn of 2019 I had promised your Spirit Mom Leo that I would get my beautiful ass off of Tinder and focus on IRL (in real life) dating. But… What I didn’t tell her was that I was still on Bumble. I know: I knew she was going to kick my ass […]

Read More

How I Met Your Father: The one where I got catfished again!

Kids, the Autumn of 2018 was SO not a great online dating period for me… not only did I get unsolicited nudes but I also got catfished AGAIN! To add insult to injury, in the space of a few days, it happened not just once, but f***ing twice! It felt like the love gods hated […]

Read More

How I Met Your Father: the one where I realise I am too old for this dating s***

Kids, in 2018, I was starting to feel once again like Danny Glover about dating: See, I’d struck up a conversation with Mathys (31) on Tinder, which moved to Whatsapp and every single one of his texts were filled with abbreviations and sms speak… and you guys know my thoughts on this particular language: One […]

Read More

How I Met Your Father: Don’t call me “Baby”!

Kids, in 2018, I came to the realisation that probably one of the main reasons I was still single was that I just couldn’t handle pet names and more specifically, being called “Baby”. I mean, why the f*** do people have this insatiable need to bless their significant others with cutesy nicknames that made me […]

Read More

How I Met Your Father: the one with the Fifty Shades of Grey wanna-be

“So, I take it you’ve seen I like to be dominated by women, right?” This, Kids, was the hot, abs-to-bloody-die-for Jeremy’s opening line to me, after we’d swiped right on each other on Tinder in August 2017. Had I just stumbled upon Cape Town’s Christian Grey? Oh my… Actually, I hadn’t see this particular kink […]

Read More

How I Met Your Father: the one where I got catfished

catfishing

Kids, in the winter of 2017, I was dipping my toe back into the online dating pool after the disastrous ankle-interruptus incident when I “e-met” haagen_dazsmania on OkCupid. From his profile photo, he looked like a South African version of the red headed Montague cousin in Romeo& Juliet: Red heads weren’t my usual type, unless […]

Read More

How I Met Your Father: the pervert shutdown

Kids, after my ankle-interruptus date with Hellrider83, my ego was hurting more than ever and, whilst I  wasn’t actively looking for my next date online, I wasn’t not looking either… Enter michealallthetime, a 31-year-old account manager for petrol giant Engen from Goodwood, on OkCupid. Great start but Mister doesn’t even have a profile pic of […]

Read More