Tag Archives: motivation

How I Met Your Father : The One where I can’t say goodbye to New York

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“Say you’ll share with me one love,one lifetime /Say the word and I will follow you”

Kids,as my solo trip to New York came to an end in early January 2017, I was no where near ready to say goodbye to the Big Apple.

More importantly,  I wasn’t ready to take my leave of the person I was there – a confident,  free-spirited traveller who wasn’t afraid to take on new and amazing adventures or experiences.

The girl you see in the picture above is radiant with satisifaction; has a lust for life and most importantly, she is happy …

Happy,guys, honest-to-the-gods happy – the black moods that sometimes dominated my Capetonian nights and days;the insecurities that overwhelmed me at home didn’t exist in New York.

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And while I know I was living in a bubble because life isn’t all subway rides and walks in Central Park; I wasn’t in a hurry to get back to the Mother City to be the awkward singleton who doesn’t get invited to her godchildren’s birthday parties because her status makes the other guests uncomfortable.

In New York, I grabbed opportunities to be the centre of attention by the balls (including being the fake VIP guest on an NBC Tour show):

In Cape Town, I was so used to being second or last choice,  I didn’t even bother volunteering for shit at all.

In New York, I rode the subway often and only got lost a few times -in Cape Town, the train was a last-minute,I’m fucked and I need transport resort:

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I fit in New York – for the first time,it felt like I fit my surroundings.In Cape Town, I was always a beat or two behind everyone else -people who had their shit together; people who shared the same sense of humour and the same boring plan for life; people who effoetlessly met their spouses/co-parents/lovers/partners and lived the picket white fence lifestyle. I couldn’t catch-up and I was tired of trying.

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Happy New Year from New York!

I wanted to stay in New York where I belonged,Kids …

But all good things must come to an end and,though I had to leave , I made a promise to myself (and one that would set me on the path to meeting your father and finally having you!) : I’d live every day of 2017 as fearlessly and passionately as if I were in New York!

How I Met Your Father : The One with Christmas in New York and why I don’t want to go home

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Kids,in December 2016, I travelled alone to New York City and people,who should have known better,kept asking why?

Them : “Why would you do that? And alone too? That’s crazy!”

Me (thinking it internally but I should have said it out loud): “I’m f***ing off to the other side of the world because  I am sick to death of your narrow-mindedness;  your gossiping about my sexuality; your assumptions that I must hate men and children because I have neither when it couldn’t be further from the f***ing truth and you don’t know how hard I have to work to keep my desire for having a baby under control;  because you assholes talk about me maliciously on Facebook where the world AND I can see it and you don’t even think about my feelings,do you?!!”

Like I said, there were many reasons why I travelled solo to the Big Apple but ultimately only one really mattered …my happiness.

In the space of just one week, New York quickly made me feel at home by:

1) Making me feel like a local:

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Getting lost and finding myself in the Big Apple

Sure,I got lost so many times but somehow I always ended up where I was intending on going later,like Central Park, so it worked out!

2) Inspiring me on the daily:

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Looking out at the New York City view

There were so many things to see and do in New York that inspiration  was seeping into my pores all of the time.I felt re-energised and motivated for the first time in a long time and I wanted to write again.Not just about one attraction  as I had been for the past two years but about a variety of topics!

Staring out at the city line from the Top of the Rock,  I knew it was time for a career change.

3) Putting me at ease about difficult choices I’d made previously:

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Magic on Broadway…Theatre and I will always find each other

When I left a side project as a theater reviewer in 2015 because my family needed me emotionally, physically and financially to help with my dying grandfather;  people didn’t understand and so many of them faded away from my life because I was no longer available to be frivolous and fun at a red carpet opening night three times a week.

It felt like a horrible thing at the time but I do not regret spending 2016 taking care of Pa ,our family or dedicating myself to my magic career that year either…both elements thrived because I was focused and I am eternally thankful for it.

As I took in a number of Broadway shows in December, I realised that things had come full circle and this,this opportunity right here,  to see award-winning international shows was meant to be all along.I have always been a theatre lover -I didn’t need to be “famous” to prove it.

4) Seeding a sense of wonder for myself :

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I can and WILL do anything I imagine …

Thanks to the mind and emotional f***ery of He Who Must Not Be Named; being dumped by my travel buddy; warring family wanting Pa’s estate and all of the malicious gossipers;  my sense of self-worth was f***ed royally.

Having my wits and determination to depend on to guide me and keep myself safe in the Big Apple rebirthed my self-belief.

I felt imbued with new-found confidence in the Wonder Woman I know I can be. I worked hard to get to New York again and I could do that and so much more if I just tried.

F*** the haters in my world, I am f***ing AWESOME!!

I loved New York,where I was free to be me SO much,  I didn’t want to go home …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How I Met Your Father: 5 things running taught me about dating

Kids, by the spring of 2016, I had been a novice runner for a year and a bit, competing in several racing events ,including the Old Mutual Two Oceans Marathon and the Gun Run.

I was having tons of fun blogging about my transformation from couch potato to relatively fit runner and to my surprise, running helped me get a new perspective on my love life (or lack thereof).

Here are five things running taught me about dating:

  1. Just do it:

Procrastination might very well be my middle name because I was always putting off going for a run, in the same way I put off going on dates.

Whether I was hurriedly slipping into running trainers or high heeled boots, I always found that once I committed to the act of running or dating and actually did it, I felt much better afterwards.

To quote the most epic of philosophers, Nike:

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Image credit: http://www.pinterest.com
  1. Be patient:

No one runs and wins a half-marathon on their first go so what made me think I was going to meet The One immediately?

All good things come to those who train and dating was my training. I needed to give myself time and stick to a healthy regime of meeting new people at events I liked going to like Fan Con or Zombie Walk; online dating sites; parties; set-ups or speed dating hang-outs.

  1. Being nervous is ok:

Man, did I get butterflies in my tummy before every run and date! My heart would race a mile a minute, my palms would be sweaty and I would be thinking “Why the f*** am I doing this?!” every five minutes in the lead-up to the big event.

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Image credit: http://www.giphy.com

Being nervous was ok, though, and helped me get excited about what lay ahead, both on the road and in love.

  1. When you fall down, get back up:

Getting my heart broken or being stood up hurt every bit as much as falling flat on my ample sized butt on the road but if I could motivate myself to get back up and run again, I could get back out into the dating scene again too.

Sure, every WTF online dating pick-up line or extremely bad date made me want to run for the hills (ha-ha, pun totally intended!) but I managed to shake it off and bounce back stronger than before.

  1. Having support is important:

Your Spirit Mom Leo was the one who set me on the path to running greatness by encouraging me to enter races, running some of them with me (and providing ample motivation in the form of naked Alexander Skarsgard, Matt Bomer and Henry Cavill photos …hee hee!) and providing a platform for me to document my progress with a monthly blog post.

Similarly, she and your Uncle Tendai listened to my crazy dating tales, tried setting me up on blind dates, were my wing people and told me some much needed motivational stories about their own love adventures.

No runner can do it alone and neither can a dater.  House of Wyrd, you rock my world!

Running may not have had me quite on Whitney Houston’s path to love:

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BUT it did get me out and about and on the road to happiness.