Tag Archives: Friends

How I Met Your Father: the one where I’ve had it with grieving

Kids, I am no stranger to grief. Since my Dad died the week after my 11th birthday, I have been well accquainted with this gods-awful, sucks balls emotion. At age 32 and a half in 2018, though, I was f***ing done with it… DONE!

dealing with grief
Image credit: http://www.threadsoflife.ca

See, just when I was regaining some semblance of a normal life after losing my grandpa two years earlier, the loss of a huge part of my life was looming because of political reasons and that f***ing horrible feeling of hollowness and devastation had returned.

No, this loss wasn’t a person but it was something that I had loved, nutured, cared for, fought for and I finally felt as if I had found my place in and losing it or at least, the current state of it, broke my heart just as badly.

Death, in life or the ending of something was truly a f***tard!

fuck death
Image credit: http://www.boldomatic.com

I veered between not eating and overeating, not being able to talk about it without crying,not sleeping or oversleeping, being mad and sad and confused all at the same time, denying it was happening… basically, all of the stages of grief, except acceptance.

I wasn’t ready to accept the loss yet because it meant that things would never,ever be the same again.

not ready for this
Image credit: Buzzfeed.com

Logically, I knew that this situation couldn’t go back to being what it was ever again but the idea of what awaited in the future just wasn’t something I could handle either.

Grief, you motherf***er, go the f*** away!

 

How I Met Your Father: Downtown kisses in Cape Town

November 2017…

“Can I ask you something?”, the tall, blonde stranger asked, leaning into me and whispering in my ear…

“Sure!”, I answered, in a haze of hormones and bravado spurred on by my run-in with ignorant married people earlier that day.

“Can I kiss you?”, he asked, and I nodded yes before he laid one on me…

Kiss me. Image credit: Giphy

Kids, it wasn’t the best kiss of my life (that had been Myles a lifetime ago at my TV job) but it was my first since my Harlem hottie in New York three years prior and well, sometimes a girl just has to get her smooch on, you know?

It was my birthday weekend and while I was finally coming into my own as a woman and writer after Argentina, I needed a reminder that I was young, hot, single and free to do what and whomever I damn well pleased.

Your aunts Cynthia and Lee-Anne were the perfect partners-in-crime for my night out on the town, making friends with random strangers, laughing all night and dancing like no one was watching.

Dancing like no one’s watcing! Image credit: Giphy

It’s ok to let go and be young every now and again. It’s a lesson I’d need to remember often over the year to come…

How I Met Your Father: being care-free and bold during Cape Town’s festive season

Kids, in December 2017, I gave myself permission to be the care-free person I am when I travel in Cape Town.

The girl who…

  • does crazy things like jump up on stage at a karaoke bar and belts out Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive while cold stone sober ( because throat infection and antibiotics!):

To quote your godfather Leon: “Friend, I swear you’re more gay than I am!”

  • embraces her inner sunbathing babe with her best friends at her side:
beach babes
Sunbathing with my babes. Image credit: Ella Williams
  • successfully co-stalks not just one but TWO celebrities to help makes her magical sisters Leonie and Linesri’s fangirl dreams come true.

From holding my breath, waiting to see if a tweet and prayer would get Leo and I a seat at TJ Miller’s guest table (it did!) and rocking photographic wingwoman duties at the Cape Town Comedy Club…

leo TJ Miller

…to putting in a special meet and greet request for Lin with Jonathan Roxmouth at Evita the Musical:

We succeeded and brilliantly so:

2017 had been a crazy and often difficult year emotionally and physically but I was determined to live the last few days of it carefree and happy!

Bring it on, 2018!

How I Met Your Father: 5 of the best birthday gifts I’ve ever received

Kids, on the eve of my 32nd birthday, I was feeling particularly thankful for all of my many, many blessings and it made me feel a little bit nostalgic.

rocktard-present-o
Image credit: Gifsoup

I started thinking about the very best birthday gifts I’d received over the last few years and here are my top 5:

  1. The gift of a social media blackout: In 2016, I practiced the first of my no socials on my birthday cleanse and by Gods, it was fantastic to have the silence! What’s more, people actually took the time to call me and what’s better than talking to your loved ones on your special day? I was going to do the same in 2017!
  2. The gift of being surrounded by friends and family: Each year, I had birthday parties surrounded by the people I love… whether it was an intimate dinner where the whole #howimetyourfather campaign kicked off or high tea with your Spirit Mom at the Mount Nelson Hotel.

fazi ella

3. The gift of a kickass studio tour and being on my own show in New York: In 2016, my f***ing amazing Wyrd Sister Leo gifted me  with a NBC Studio Pass for my upcoming trip to New York. It was by far the highlight of my solo Big Apple vacation AND I got to record and star in this epic mock late night show interview:

4. The gift of a fantastic 30th island holiday: My angst at turning 30 in 2015 was majorly alleviated by the incredible week-long birthday celebration and vacation your Nan booked for us in Mauritius. Your aunt Sam, Nan and I really reconnected, doing aqua Zumba, snorkelling, catamaran cruises and water side dinners. It is also where I learnt to appreciate the art of going solo and lessons I have implemented in my life ever since.

williams 3
My 30th Birthday Celebrations with your Nan and Aunt Sam

5. The gift of love and life: Kids, in the spring of 1985, your Nan risked her life for mine with a two month hospital stay and a risky emergency C-Section. She’d regularly remind me of the crazy circumstances leading to my birth:

Mom birthing story

When I look back at photos of my birth I can’t believe how incredibly strong my then 24-year-old Mom had to be to care for a baby born two months early:

fazi and mom premature

I’m so thankful, though, for her bravery and for always being there for me. I love you, Mom!

I was so looking forward to my 32nd birthday 😉

How I Met Your Father: the one with the Zombie Walk Cape Town 2017

Kids, as you know Halloween is my absolute favourite holiday of the year… not least of all because it is when the undead rise in the Mother City for the annual Zombie Walk Cape Town event!

My zombie personality had been everything from a cheerleader to a nurse to a bride so what to go as in 2017? Well…

1990…

I was a precocious  five-year-old who a) was convinced that big school would be like an episode out of the Wonder Years and b) was determined to be a police woman.

Never mind the fact that this was pre-1994 South Africa and women, let alone women of colour, were not allowed to be officers of the law.

Your Grandpa, though, liked to encourage my big dreams and, in addition to getting me a toy cop police set with handcuffs and a baton, let me tag along on his early evening neighbourhood watch patrols. Man, were those exciting times!

Fast forward to 27 years later, and with a little help from your godfather Leon, and I was ready to embrace my inner Zombie Cop:

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My more-than-willing rocker zombie prisoner was your aunt Lee-Anne and damn, was she dead hot:

About to get our #ZombieWalkCT on😨🙌

A post shared by Fazielah Williams (@fazielahwilliams) on

Our Night of the Living Dead took us along through the Company’s Garden, along St George’s Mall, Thibault Square and to a party that would never end at Madison Avenue Cape Town.

Here are a few drop dead awesome posts of the Zombie Walk Cape Town 2017:

How I Met Your Father: CT Girl in Argentina

Kids, in September 2017,my wandering heart (and very busy working body – wait… not like THAT!) found its way to the sensual and vibrant Buenos Aires, Argentina.

tango argentina

Resting place of Evita, home to the empanada, the Japanese Botanical Garden and… tango!

As I mentioned before, this was a business trip so there wasn’t much time for exploring but I was determined to do some sightseeing and explore the city’s exotic cultural offerings.

Here’s what I learnt in Buenos Aires:

Be passionate about everything:

The Argentines ooze passion in everything they do: how they love, fight, work and dance!

Tango in Argentina 😍

A post shared by Fazielah Williams (@fazielahwilliams) on

It’s actually quite intoxicating. So much so, that when it is time to leave their beautiful city, one really does want to say “Don’t cry for me, Argentina!” :

 

Be in the pursuit of magic always:

I’ve seen jaw-dropping magic shows in Las Vegas and New York so I was quite keen to see one in South America. As my journey came to an end, time constraints were real and it didn’t seem like I was going to find my taste of magic in Buenos Aires.

Until…

During a night out at the Tango Porteno, in the middle of a tango extravaganza, female magician  Inga Savitskaya appeared and dazzled us with her Invisible Partner act. Lesson learnt: always be in the pursuit of magic!

 

Embrace your sensuality:

From shamelessly indulging in dulce de leche, the sweet caramel treat Argentina is famous for , to giving into the erotic tension of a tango show, the Argentians are decadent, hungry and sensual beings.

My heart yearns for tango lunches in La Bocca😍 #CTGirlInArgentina

A post shared by Fazielah Williams (@fazielahwilliams) on

After watching the intensity of dancers on a lunch time wander through La Bocca, a colourful downtown neighbourhood, I wandered down the cobbled streets of Galerías Pacífico .There, the most handsome, well-built men made a point of stopping what they were doing to openly stare and appreciate the sight of me.

Bearing in mind that I was in work travel mode and didn’t do anything fancy to my appearance, other than tie my hair up in a braid, I was equally flustered and flattered at the same time.

Far from being creepy, these men’s visible appreciation of me made me rediscover my sensuality. I made a promise to myself then that from that moment on I was going to embrace my inner sensual self by wearing sexy underwear and make-up and styling my hair everyday. Not for any guy but for myself – to celebrate the strong, independent, creative, free-spirited, beautiful, sensual, world traveller and woman I was.

To paraphrase your uncle Herman, I was in the prime of my life and I should be out in the world, swinging from the chandeliers ( or at least taking life by the horns!).

And I did, Kids, I really did:

Faz sensual 2

 

 

How I Met Your Father: The Stand You Up Guy 2

Kids, on a cold Spring Saturday evening in Cape Town in 2017, I found myself waiting in gale force winds for yet another no-show online date.

Sad-Alone-Girl-In-Rain-Wallpapers-HD-Pictures
Image credit: http://www.livehdwallpaper.com

Joe (31) , a lawyer from Tinder, had aggressively pursued me online the week before and, after moving to Whatsapp, asked me out on a date.

Safe for work photo-exchanging occurred quickly:

Him: “Wow! You’re really attractive!”

Me: rolls my eyes but blushes because: “Awwww”

During the course of our conversations, he revealed that not only was his name Yusuf (already a red flag for me because as you guys know, my type was most definitely more the blue-eyed, agnostic, tall and handsome kind); he’d unknowingly had an affair with a married woman (another red flag for me since infidelity is a major trigger point) and he was looking for friendship fun (his definition of going on dates and kissing… right, brother man, that’s swell but I date with a capital D).

I know, I know… why the f*** did I agree to go on a date with someone who was obviously so wrong from the get-go?

Well, because after Brazil and Argentina, I’d rediscovered my sensuality and wanted to test it out on the male species. Also, I hadn’t been on a date since the catfishing episode. A girl has to get back on the dating horse sometime and Joe , though flawed, seemed like a good practice buddy.

Sigh…

After confirming the day before with messages in which he genuinely seemed excited for our date, I spent the afternoon taking in the Cape Town Buskers Festival at the V&A Waterfront before meandering down to the Green Point Lighthouse.

Our date was supposed to be a walk along the Promenade before getting ice-cream.

I arrived 10 minutes early and texted Joe to let him know I was waiting just beneath the lighthouse.

10 minutes after our agreed time, I called and left a voicemail…

giphy
Image credit: http://www.giphy.com

And still the wind blew with a mighty force. I began making alternative plans, thinking we could move to Caffe Neo across the road and still admire the sunset while getting to know each other.

20 minutes and another text….

30 minutes later and I realised that this f***ing coward wasn’t going to show at all. I’d been stood up AGAIN!

Look, we all get nervous about meeting new people but what grated my tits was that he didn’t have the f***ing decency to call or text and say he wasn’t coming.

You know things were bad when my Uber driver had the grace to let me know he was running late to collect me but my goddamned date did not.

Women were screwed because 21st century men had no f***ing manners! It was unacceptable!

After sharing my shame at being stood-up with your Spirit Mom, Uncle T and aunts Yoli and Lutfia, I went home and cried.

stood up on date
Image credit: Quickmeme

I cried because dating was hard, Kids. Putting myself out there, time after time, only to be catfished, rejected, stood-up, felt-up inappropriately, time after f***ing time by cowards was demoralizing and for what?

So that I didn’t have to listen to family and smug marrieds ask me why I was still single? To have to nod politely at their god-awful comments on my life, attractiveness ,personality and being too damn fussy?

I was tired. Defeated. Done.

 

How I Met Your Father: the one where 21st century dating lingo got one up on me AGAIN

Kids, you remember how 21st century dating lingo got the best of me in 2016? Well, in 2017, I was seriously f***ing lost in translation!

sam winchester no idea
Image credit: http://www.unibaggage.com

July 2017 …

I’d swiped right on the hot Julianno’s photo on Tinder and we were a match! Hallelujah!

“According to tinder, I should say hello 😉 “, he texted and from there we were chatting away merrily until…

I asked him to tell him more about himself and he responded with:

“I’m a musician, nutrition advisor and I do a bit of modelling. But all in all, I’m journeying intentionally”

Wait… what?

confucius
Image credit: http://www.quickmeme.com

What new f***ery was this?! Even after I asked this Confucius wanna-be to explain further, all he could offer was “Simple… my moves are intentional and with purpose”.

I was still pretty confused, and I had to turn to your auntie Lee-Anne, mistress of deciphering guys’ bullshit, to translate for me.

“Honey, when a boy says shit like that, what he means is he is only looking to f***”

Oh! Right, so basically he is like Mr Instantaneous Convergence of two years before.

No wonder he disappeared from my DMs like mist before the sun after the conversation died out.

F*** it! NEXT!

How I Met Your Father: the one where I suited up for #WonderWomanDay

Kids, with #WonderWomanDay being celebrated on Saturday 3 June, 2017, in honour of the ultimate female superhero’s 75 year anniversary and the release of her first live motion film, it was only a matter of time before I dusted off my Amazon Princess suit and took to the streets of Cape Town in it…

Ok, maybe not the streets – but definitely to Readers Den, my home away from home since age 5, for their Wonder Woman Day event:

There, I hung out with well-known cosplayer, Sascha Perdigao, who rocked the Bombshell Wonder Woman look:

After supporting my magical family at our sold-out shows at the Artscape Theatre that day, I joined your Auntie Bennii for our must-do live action Wonder Woman NuMetro VIP screening at Canal Walk.

I love that when I said I was attending the screening in my suit, your Auntie B didn’t hesitate to do the same:

Bennii and FazWw

Of course, it wouldn’t be a House of Wyrd night out  if we didn’t take to social media about it, right?

 

The lesson here, my beautiful babies, is to always surround yourself with amazing friends who love you for your weird, imaginative self…Blessed are the freaks and Wyrdos!

How I Met Your Father: that moment when a hug is just a hug

Kids, in the autumn of 2017, your Spirit Mom, Uncle T and I were having one of our daily WhatsApp conversations about life, work and crushes when Tendai threw a curveball at us…

hug
Image credit: www.usseek.com

We’d been discussing his latest cougar crush and teasing him about all of the very naughty things he wanted to do to her and he stopped my and Leo’s decidedly NSFW (not safe for work) lewd talk with this one liner:

“No, I just want to hug her and tell her that everything is going to be okay. That’s all I wanna do”

Leo and I both hit back with “What’s that code for?” and “Why does a guy just want to cuddle and hold? That doesn’t make sense!” because come on, hugs from guys ALWAYS meant they wanted more, right? RIGHT?

Nope…according to Lord Grey, sometimes a hug from a guy who likes you or whom you like is just that …a bloody hug.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT????

Leo and I were floored, crushed, heartbroken, DEVASTATED.

gilmore-girls-gif
Image credit: http://www.gurl.com

As your Spirit Mom put it:

“I feel like my entire life’s outlook has just been turned upside down. I’m so confused now “

 

tenor
Image credit: http://www..tenor.com

As for me, my world was spinning on its axis because those bone-crushing hugs that bordered on the inappropriate that I received from Monroe ( remember him?) still topped my all-time favourite crushee moments!

My mind was blown:

mind blown
Image credit:www.imgur.com

 

Leo was struggling with all the guys she turned away in her youth when they hugged her and said “Come to my flat and see my etchings”, thinking it was the 90s version of “Netflix and chill”. I was having a hard time seeing all those “moments” I thought I’d had with Monroe and past versions of him going up in smoke.

Lord Grey had messed us up worse than any of our previous “sandwich” experiences… F*** a zombie!

Tendai, realising how this had fundamentally changed my and Leo’s entire man-woman relations ideals, expanded on his theory a bit more:

“A man’s thoughts aren’t always the worst. Ya, we wanna get in and get out…that’s 90 – 95% of our thoughts but then there are those moments we wanna cuddle. Cuddling is a warm, relaxing and comforting feeling… especially after a long day.

mainsplain
Image credit: TheThings.Com

He continued to drop this bombshell with:

“It’s platonic. Guys have no intentions for anything more. Just cuddling and maybe talk through the night. Just to forget about the madness of the world. It’s like how a woman says “Let’s go for a drink” and a guy thinks it’s code meanwhile, it’s literally just a drink!”

It would take days, weeks even, for Leo and I to recover from this explosive news…and when we chatted to other women about it, they’d had similar reactions. Life, as we knew it, was no longer the same…