My misadventures as a single creative writer in the Mother City
Kids, as you know, I was the living Capetonian embodiment of literary heroine Bridget Jones … over the course of my 20s and 30s, I’d managed to lose my bikini top in public, exposed my considerable buttocks to shocked New Yorkers and got a label stuck in my hair whilst spending a night in the […]
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Kids, my inner Bridget Jones has the uncanny knack of emerging at the most inappropriate moments like… December 2017… I was in the middle of explaining to my colleagues how I was sometimes tempted to reply to the infernal “what is the temperature like at the top of the mountain?” question that I needed to […]
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The hot, blonde blue eyed doctor swept all of his belongings off his desk in a fit of passion before striding towards me, to lift me up and ravish me on his hard, so hard, table top… It was Eric and Sookie in the flesh and oh, I was hot and bothered alright! My heart ached […]
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“First date and you’ve sprained your ankle, huh? Tough break, my dear.At least he’s sticking around for now… maybe this will lead to better things” This, Kids, is what Sharon the mystic healer was saying to me as she tried to infuse healing energy into my bruised ankle, whilst simultaneously trying to reassure me that […]
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“Oh my Gawd! I thought the restroom was empty …Sorry!” Kids, this is what a gorgeous, blonde American yelled at me as I stood, pants around my ankles in the middle of trying to close the damn unisex loo door at Applebee’s in New York … I had, quite stupidly in my haste to relieve […]
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I got so flustered by how hot Wes was, I managed to walk into a door, knock into an open gate, drop my phone and blush so profusely, I looked like a dragon had scorched me – all in the space of 10 minutes.
Earth, swallow me whole!
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Only in my wildest dreams would I be sinning all night every night for ten years…
Kids, I have never felt so ashamed of something I didn’t do in all of my life … Damned if I do and damned if I don’t
