Tag Archives: dating stories

How I Met Your Father: the one where I spilt my tea for a man

Kids, I was feeling Jet hard… and although I tried to believe Jennifer Paige when she said it was just a little :

… it didn’t help that he was obviously feeling the same way.

I mean the guy was calling me his girlfriend to coworkers; eagerly greeting me morning, noon and night; playing the perfect gentleman and attentive date by pulling out my chair, getting me drinks and engaging me in conversation at work functions; telling people he was bringing me as his date to after hours events; taking every chance he could to hang out at my desk and just generally being all up in my business.

How was I reacting to all of this wanton lusting and office flirtation, you ask?

Oh, Sweet Child of Mine…

Your momma once again invoked the spirit of literary and cinematic singleton Bridget Jones, because really, why even try being cool about a real life flesh and blood man ( and a younger one, at that!) being into me?

One afternoon, Jet was bounding down the staircase, as he was wont to do, off to save some IT crisis or other, and I, as I was wont to do, was watching him … drinking in the sight of him, feasting my eyes and all but drooling.

So much so, that I … spilt my tea all over my desk and my pants.

I was literally wet at the sight of him.

F*** me,ground, swallow me whole right NOW!

How I Met Your Father: the one where I have no game with hot guys

Kids, I am exceptionally good at flirting with anything that moves when it comes to getting something I really, really want – like chocolate, another helping of dessert and a discount on my travel bookings.

ted-i-have-no-game
Image credit: http://www.quickmeme.com

When it comes to chatting up the opposite sex, though, I have no game. As in nada, zero, NOTHING!

I have you told about how I didn’t know when guys were hitting on me but let me share the embarrassing tale of not having any game at all.

November 2016 …

It was a hot, gorgeous day at the mountain and I was waiting for my 12pm appointment. I figured it would be a routine tour of my company’s operations and I would be done with it but man, alive, was I in for a nice, good-looking surprise!

The minute I laid eyes on Wes in the reception area my tummy did a funny somersault and I started having all kinds of inappropriate fantasies.

Blonde, blue-eyed with a slight Goth vibe and extremely cute dimples, Wes was my type to a damn T and I hadn’t had that kind of reaction to a guy in a LONG time.

wynona
Image credit: http://www.tumblr.com

Which is exactly when my inner Bridget Jones persona decided to rear her clumsy head…. F***!

I got so flustered by how hot Wes was, I managed to walk into a door, knock into an open gate, drop my phone and blush so profusely, I looked like a dragon had scorched me – all in the space of 10 minutes.

bridget-jones-falling
Image credit: http://www.giphy.com

Earth, swallow me whole!

The fact that he seemed to be bemused by my blunderings did not alleviate my embarrassment. I finally let the poor guy off the hook by leading him to a cable car and agreeing to catch-up on email before our next visit, where I would hopefully be much more composed.

Yeah, right, have you met me?????