Tag Archives: bad opening lines

How I Met Your Father: the one with the indecent Valentine’s Day text

Kids, Valentine’s Day tends to bring out the downright nasty in Tinder daters. As the great Dothraki would say:

In 2019, things were no different.

David and I had swiped right on each other, prompting what I assumed would be a mutually respectful exchange.

I was wrong. SO wrong.

My granderfather passed notes to my grandmother via the factory secretary at the company they worked at in the 60s to let her know he was interested. My Dad wrote my mom “we’re going to have beautiful babies” messages in cute cards in the 80s.

What did my wanna-be suitor write to me as his first message? This:

You guys can guess what I did next, right?

As the wise Ariana Grande once sang: