How I Met Your Father: The Stand You Up Guy 2

Kids, on a cold Spring Saturday evening in Cape Town in 2017, I found myself waiting in gale force winds for yet another no-show online date. Joe (31) , a lawyer from Tinder, had aggressively pursued me online the week before and, after moving to Whatsapp, asked me out on a date. Safe for work […]

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How I Met Your Father: the one where I got catfished

catfishing

Kids, in the winter of 2017, I was dipping my toe back into the online dating pool after the disastrous ankle-interruptus incident when I “e-met” haagen_dazsmania on OkCupid. From his profile photo, he looked like a South African version of the red headed Montague cousin in Romeo& Juliet: Red heads weren’t my usual type, unless […]

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How I Met Your Father: the one with rude online daters

don't disrespect me like that

Kids, you remember The Oversharer 2, right? Mr I have no confidence, I am broke and I still live at home with my mommy and daddy? Well, in the winter of 2017, he also became a rude online dater which provoked my inner Daenerys Targaryen. He made me so angry I wanted to burn down […]

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How I Met Your Father: the pervert shutdown

Kids, after my ankle-interruptus date with Hellrider83, my ego was hurting more than ever and, whilst I  wasn’t actively looking for my next date online, I wasn’t not looking either… Enter michealallthetime, a 31-year-old account manager for petrol giant Engen from Goodwood, on OkCupid. Great start but Mister doesn’t even have a profile pic of […]

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How I Met Your Father: Say hello to my little block button friend

Kids, in the autumn of 2017 I was MORE than ready to treat myself to another dating pause because gods be damned, pickings for suitable men were drier than the Sahara. Nightly chats with your Auntie Yoli reassured me that I wasn’t the only one experiencing this phenomenon but nevertheless, in the interest of educating […]

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How I Met Your Father: 3 dating bloggers I love

Kids, every good writer and singleton looks to their peers for inspiration – others who were in the embattled trenches of dating in the 21st century and understood how hard it was finding love in the difficult hook-up culture we lived in. In 2017, mine came in the form of the following three incredible dating bloggers: […]

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How I Met Your Father: Avoiding the non-date trap

Kids, as hard as I tried to avoid it, sometimes I unknowingly fell into the non-date trap and each time, I swore it would be the goddamn last! Gather around and let me tell you about the loser who wasted my time in 2017… March 2017: Mr Church Spin Doctor was a 31-year-old good-looking guy, […]

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How I Met Your Father: Why online dating brings all the crazies to the yard

Kids, unlike that siren of the noughties, Kelis, my milkshake did not, in fact, bring all the boys to the yard … Nay, in typical Bridget Jonesesque behaviour, I brought all the crazies to your Nan and Cape Town’s nether regions … wait, stop snickering, let me re-phrase that. I tended to bring forth the […]

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