After one of those nasty AF Discovery Wellness days in May, I realised that if I had any hope in hell of giving you guys a healthy mom, it was time to get back on the proverbial fitness horse, no matter how difficult it seemed:
Thus began my long farewell to Netflix and Chill sessions for one with my trusty box of Oreos, chocolate and Amarula and hello Promenade Mondays, Zumba Wednesdays and the occassional fun runs like the 10km Spar Women’s Challenge event:
It had taken me more than three decades but I was finally able to just feel myself and be comforable in my own skin:
Image credit: Giphy
And everyone, from Jet, my lingering office crush, to my friends and family were feeling my me-ness too. From eagerly wanting to attending comic cons with me to tagging me in every Game of Thrones post ever and sending me sweet treats, celebrating my Wyrdness:
Kids, the night was dark and full of unexpected pleasures as your Spirit Mom Leonie and I made our way to M-Net’s final Game of Thrones premiere, held at Nu Metro Canal Walk on Monday 15 April 2019.
While Leo frightened the hell out of Capetonian streetwalkers and petrol garage attendants, dressed incredibly as the Night Queen; I paid homage to the Mother of Dragons’ s winter look:
As the media coverage continued, with even a front page feature, and we were totally blown away by the first episode, we basked in the afterglow of a Long Night to remember:
A HUGE thank you to Queen Portia of House M-Net for the invitation to the final Game of Thrones premiere. It is a memory that House Wyrd will treasure always!
Glo met *Kevin* on Tinder in March 2018 and they hit it off right away because they both had a passion for soccer,staying fit and wine.
A few flirty texts later and wanting to see if their rapport would carry over in real life, Glo invited Kevin along to join her on her usual Wednesday 5km run along the Sea Point Promenade.
Even though he was more of a Crossfit fanatic, he readily agreed to the date.
As Glo tells it, the run itself was great -Kevin was fun, friendly and interacted with her and her running group in a charming manner.
After the run was over, they bid their farewells and went their separate ways.
Later that night, he sent her a text, demanding to know why she hadn’t invited him back to her place for sex.
Wait…what?!
How did a first date, one that involved running with other people no less, imply that there would be sex at the end of it and why, in the holy f*** did this guy assume it would?
More importantly, did he just feign interest in her likes and over-eagerly agree to a running date because he expected to get laid after?
Image caption: imgflip
F***ing men!
Mr Sexpool
Same month, different jackass. A year after T had broken up with 40-year-old serial cheater. *Gerald* , and he’d subsequently hooked up with a 27-year-old, she got a call from a concerned “friend”, wanting to meet with her to discuss something disturbing about her cheating ex.
What he told her STILL makes my skin crawl…
Turns out that Gerald and his fellow 40-something year old friends were running a WhatsApp “”who can bang the youngest chick” betting pool, exchanging photos and sordid tales of their younger conquests.
What’s more, they then proudly displayed their catches for all to see on their fridges, like f***ing hunters!
Are you f***ing kidding me?!!!
In this day and age and in Cape Town? How can something that sounds like the plot of a horrible 90s comedy actually be real?!
Kids, in December 2017, I gave myself permission to be the care-free person I am when I travel in Cape Town.
The girl who…
does crazy things like jump up on stage at a karaoke bar and belts out Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive while cold stone sober ( because throat infection and antibiotics!):
embraces her inner sunbathing babe with her best friends at her side:
Sunbathing with my babes. Image credit: Ella Williams
successfully co-stalks not just one but TWO celebrities to help makes her magical sisters Leonie and Linesri’s fangirl dreams come true.
From holding my breath, waiting to see if a tweet and prayer would get Leo and I a seat at TJ Miller’s guest table (it did!) and rocking photographic wingwoman duties at the Cape Town Comedy Club…
…to putting in a special meet and greet request for Lin with Jonathan Roxmouth at Evita the Musical:
Kids, as you know Halloween is my absolute favourite holiday of the year… not least of all because it is when the undead rise in the Mother City for the annual Zombie Walk Cape Town event!
My zombie personality had been everything from a cheerleader to a nurse to a bride so what to go as in 2017? Well…
1990…
I was a precocious five-year-old who a) was convinced that big school would be like an episode out of the Wonder Years and b) was determined to be a police woman.
Never mind the fact that this was pre-1994 South Africa and women, let alone women of colour, were not allowed to be officers of the law.
Your Grandpa, though, liked to encourage my big dreams and, in addition to getting me a toy cop police set with handcuffs and a baton, let me tag along on his early evening neighbourhood watch patrols. Man, were those exciting times!
Fast forward to 27 years later, and with a little help from your godfather Leon, and I was ready to embrace my inner Zombie Cop:
My more-than-willing rocker zombie prisoner was your aunt Lee-Anne and damn, was she dead hot:
Our Night of the Living Dead took us along through the Company’s Garden, along St George’s Mall, Thibault Square and to a party that would never end at Madison Avenue Cape Town.
Here are a few drop dead awesome posts of the Zombie Walk Cape Town 2017:
Kids, as your Uncle T, Spirit Mom and I mourned the ending of the penultimate season of Game of Thrones, I came to a major Wilding-esque conclusion…
I wanted a man who looked at and talked about me the way big, rugged Tormund talked about the Lady Brienne of Tarth:
I knew he was a fictional character ( and by far, one of the gods-be-damned best!) but I loved how unashamedly he adored her and wanted to make giant babies with her!
Image credit: Igmur
Where, for the love of the Lord of Light, was my Wildling, desperate to father you?
You might think this was a weird thing to want, but men blurting out a line like this at the women in our family has worked before.
In fact, your Grandpa said it to your Nan in the 1980s:
Your father was out there, Kids… your impatient Mother of Dragons just had to keep the faith and wait for him.
Rally the realm: House Wyrd will bring Game of Thrones to Cape Town in 2019! News coming soon so join our Facebook fanpage or follow us on Twitter and Instagram for updates!
Kids, with #WonderWomanDay being celebrated on Saturday 3 June, 2017, in honour of the ultimate female superhero’s 75 year anniversary and the release of her first live motion film, it was only a matter of time before I dusted off my Amazon Princess suit and took to the streets of Cape Town in it…
Ok, maybe not the streets – but definitely to Readers Den, my home away from home since age 5, for their Wonder Woman Day event:
After supporting my magical family at our sold-out shows at the Artscape Theatre that day, I joined your Auntie Bennii for our must-do live action Wonder Woman NuMetro VIP screening at Canal Walk.
I love that when I said I was attending the screening in my suit, your Auntie B didn’t hesitate to do the same:
Of course, it wouldn’t be a House of Wyrd night out if we didn’t take to social media about it, right?
The lesson here, my beautiful babies, is to always surround yourself with amazing friends who love you for your weird, imaginative self…Blessed are the freaks and Wyrdos!
Kids, as you know, your Spirit Mom, spirit siblings Kris and Heidi and I were major cosplayers and in 2017, we jumped at the chance to once again raise our House of Wyrd freak flag at FanCon: Cape Town Comic Con at the Cape Town International Convention Centre on Saturday 29 April, 2017.
This time round, I left the Wonder Woman costume at home while Kris absolutely rocked his Teddybear Tuxedo Minigun costume from the Fallout video game:
From superhero themed jewellery and glitter tattoos to endless geek memorabilia and opportunities to meet our favourite comic book authors, there was just SO much to see and do at FanCon.
Kris went nuts for all of the cool jewellery at the Treasure Box stand, picking up a really lifelike looking Horcrux, from the famed Harry Potter series, while we snagged a gorgeous Tardis print for Leo in the Art Alley:
Here are few of the awesome social media posts by fellow geeks of the event:
Kids, on Valentine’s Day in 2017, I found #LoveAtFirstBite with Dunkin Donuts…
Ok, fine, I fell in love with their quirky heart shaped offerings BUT I also experienced a resurgence of faith in the speed dating industry after attending the Dunkin Donuts ‘#LoveAtFirstBite speed dating event on Monday 13 February, 2017.
I know I said I’d NEVER attend another speed dating event after the disaster in 2015 but you know, hope springs eternal and come on, who can say not to donuts?
Here’s why the #LoveAtFirstBite experience rocked my dating world:
Men, men, me EVERYWHERE:
I “dated” nine men in the space of 40 minutes …the fact that there were so many guys for the first time at a speed dating event was heartening AND they were relatively good looking!
2. Talk to me, baby:
Behold the blessings of a good conversationalist! A few of them, like Ryan, the hot primary school teacher ( awww, he loves kids and giving back to the community!) made the five minutes allocated to getting to know each other fly by with their interesting anecdotes.
3. Keeping things sweet:
Look, I’d be lying if I said the real reason I was there was to potentially meet your father … because let’s be honest, I love sweet things and, donuts, like a lot!
Besides the romantic #LoveAtFirstBite deal Dunkin Donuts was running for Valentine’s Day, they kept us sweet all night with special editions of their famous product and ice coffee. My favourite was the Hazelnut flavour and the choc choc heart!
Did Cupid’s Arrow hit my voluptuous butt at the Dunkin Donuts event? Who knows … the point is, the evening gave me renewed faith in love, sugar and singledom and that, Kids, is all I needed to meet your father.
