“Wait … you REALLY got your dress stuck in an escalator and nearly flashed the security guard at the bottom of it? Oh, this is hilarious … stop it, you’re making my tummy ache!”

That, Kids, was my Uber driver’s reaction to me laying my soul bare about the latest mortifying thing to happen to me. To quote Full House’s Stephanie Tanner:

You would think that with the lockdown, there’d be fewer opportunities for my inner Bridget Jones to shine but alas, your Mama has the surprising aptitude to turn even the most mundane of errands into embarrassing episodes.

I’d been daydreaming about watching the new episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and swooning over Sebastian Stan’s new look:

…when the unthinkable happened and the edge of my maxi dress got caught in the moving escalator! I panicked and looked for help.

While the security guard awkwardly avoided making any eye contact, I tried not to panic over visions of my blood splattered everywhere and this happening:

With no help whatsoever from the security guard, I managed to rip myself free and ruin my dress seconds before meeting a bloody end.

Yes, I know, I’m très dramatic but you knew that already 😉

I’d been ready for someone to take me out, since I’d recently been thinking about getting back to dating (when it was safe to do so) but this NOT what I’d had in mind! NEXT!