Kids, the Year of WTF, 2020, was finally, FINALLY coming to a f***ing end and Gods, was I glad to see it go!
2020 had started out with your Nan being hospitalized and having a second stent implanted; me being diagnosed with having high blood pressure and taking chronic medication; me stuck in the toxic stalker situation with Jet and finally, me getting a new nemesis at the office that I was desperate to get away from.
Then, the pandemic arrived and we all went into the lockdown.
It took months of quiet reflection, a deep depression and a f***ing painful ankle injury for me to change my circumstances and here, I was, at the end of a f***tard of a year, in a better frame of mind, a new job and mostly, living my best life at home.
But, something was still missing … You.
Most nights, in my best Tony Stark impression, I did this:
2020 was meant to be the year I met you. I dreamed of you so often, I knew your every dimple, every smile crease and the beautiful sound of your laughter like the back of my hand.
Being safe at home meant I was spared the agony of having babies smile at me in queues at the stores and having it tug at my heart strings or making my ovaries ache. Being at home didn’t stop the onslaught of family, friends and acquaintances’s photos of their offspring on social media, though, and that… that sometimes was too much to bear. You are in my thoughts all of the time.
I am making my way towards you, my darling loves. It’s taking a little while longer than I thought it would, with so many detours and unexpected twists, but I am coming for you. I just need you to hold on, ok?
I love you 3000,