How I Met Your Father: THE ONE WHERE I REMEMBERED THAT I AM A BAD ASS WOMAN!

Kids, in 2020, before and during the national lock down, I had people coming at me, trying to undermine me, sabotaging me and making me question myself and my abilities.

Where previously, I had no doubt I could rock socials for a major attraction, do a kick ass PR campaign in my sleep and write like it was my god-given talent, I now suddenly couldn’t write a single word without second guessing myself and forgot about the deep and long lasting relationships I’d built with media over the years.

I’d initially sought out help with my anxiety and confidence issues in March but the lock down had put a stop to that. Endless sleepless nights, tons of natural calming medication and a good helping of special “sandwiches” later, I realised something…

I am enough. I am more than capable and I am enough.

I knew both of my industries and how to do my jobs because I had done all of the work and research before. I’d had major career successes over the years – trending on social media and had front page, national and international PR coverage – because, I, Fazielah f***ing Williams, was and am a f***ing BADASS!

As I decided to ignore my haters and do me, I played Nathalie Emmanuel’s recital of Maya Angelou’s Still, I Rise over and over again:

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A few weeks ago @emilia_clarke invited me to take part in reading a poem from the @thepoetrypharmacy. I decided to dedicate it to the global fight against anti-black racism… and there really was only one appropriate poem in the book. I had several attempts of trying to record this. The first time it was when everything had just happened and I couldn’t really say it without crying being only full of rage and pain…. The next time, a neighbour somewhere was banging away building something 🤣…. The third attempt I just couldn’t get the bloody words right 😅 and then finally…. after some time letting Maya’s words marinate in my heart and a day filling up my soul with my family…. I was able to say it with, still some anger and pain, but also pride, joy and hope. I know it might feel like the world has gone back to “normal” now… people’s feeds have returned to regular programming…. but I feel like my process took me so long so it could be seen now…. when the media interest seems to have gone away…. but the fight hasn’t…. the fight goes on… because black lives STILL matter. Black lives have always mattered. Black lives will ALWAYS matter. Thank you Mama Maya for leaving us with your powerful and oh so needed words. Forgive my slow intro… but it’s hard to talk about this stuff man…. #blacklivesmatter #blacklivesstillmatter #blackliveshavealwaysmattered blackliveswillalwaysmatter #stillIrise #drmayaangelou #getoffournecks #kneeneck

A post shared by Nathalie Emmanuel (@nathalieemmanuel) on

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