Kids, by now you know that when the going gets tough, I get going … to New York.
I’d done it in 2014 to find myself and in 2016 to grieve for your great-grandfather in peace. In 2018, I was doing it because a) your Spirit Mom Leonie was going to run the famous New York Marathon and b) there were a few adulty things that were weighing me down in Cape Town.
With just two months left of the year, 2018 had me going:
I’d been catfished twice, called a prude, been dumped in the middle of a date, caught feelings for someone I f***ing shouldn’t have ( and who was still f***ing with me by October), was grieving the potential loss of a huge part of my life and heart AND I was still NOWHERE near meeting your father and having you.
To say a legendary girls’trip with Leo in the city of our hearts was needed was a f***ing understatement!
I wanted you so badly, I’d allowed myself to get caught up in an impossible situationship that ,from the outside, and possibly my imagination, seemed like my own rom-com come true … but the asshat who’d been the unlikely Prince Charming quickly turned into the villain and I was once again back to square one.
I was tired, Kids. I was emotionally f***ing spent. Being around my very romantically successful family physically f***ung hurt and I couldn’t bear family gatherings. I loved them and I was happy for them but I couldn’t be around them.
I was falling apart in the inbetween – in the times when I was alone and no one could see my bleeding emotional wounds.
I was reminded of that popular saying:
It was time to reset myself and let New York heal me.