Kids, it’s easy to assume that I’m being over-dramatic about my online dating horror stories …I’ll admit, I do have a talent for telling stories.
When checking in with my female friends during 2018, I discovered that mine were not the only tales of the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
Here are two such cases…
Mr Run and Bang
Glo met *Kevin* on Tinder in March 2018 and they hit it off right away because they both had a passion for soccer,staying fit and wine.
A few flirty texts later and wanting to see if their rapport would carry over in real life, Glo invited Kevin along to join her on her usual Wednesday 5km run along the Sea Point Promenade.
Even though he was more of a Crossfit fanatic, he readily agreed to the date.
As Glo tells it, the run itself was great -Kevin was fun, friendly and interacted with her and her running group in a charming manner.
After the run was over, they bid their farewells and went their separate ways.
Later that night, he sent her a text, demanding to know why she hadn’t invited him back to her place for sex.
How did a first date, one that involved running with other people no less, imply that there would be sex at the end of it and why, in the holy f*** did this guy assume it would?
More importantly, did he just feign interest in her likes and over-eagerly agree to a running date because he expected to get laid after?
Same month, different jackass. A year after T had broken up with 40-year-old serial cheater. *Gerald* , and he’d subsequently hooked up with a 27-year-old, she got a call from a concerned “friend”, wanting to meet with her to discuss something disturbing about her cheating ex.
What he told her STILL makes my skin crawl…
Turns out that Gerald and his fellow 40-something year old friends were running a WhatsApp “”who can bang the youngest chick” betting pool, exchanging photos and sordid tales of their younger conquests.
What’s more, they then proudly displayed their catches for all to see on their fridges, like f***ing hunters!
Are you f***ing kidding me?!!!
In this day and age and in Cape Town? How can something that sounds like the plot of a horrible 90s comedy actually be real?!
There was no hope for mankind… NONE!