How I Met Your Father: the one with the fetish guy

Kids, after the Kevin Hart lookalike who caught feelings because of my amazing “Indian Malay” looks in 2017, I thought I’d put the Fetishism shit behind me.


2018 brought with it Mr I am a low-key racist and freak on Tinder.

Meet Steve,30, a brunette and newly returned to Cape Town from London. A Saturday morning of back and forth texting unfolded as below and nearly caused me to chuck up my well-earned post-fast walk breakfast:

Him: “So, I must be honest. I’ve been away for 10 years and I have no non-white friends left”

Me (confused because up to this point we’d merely been exchanging pleasantries and race hadn’t even been a topic): “Uhm, ok, but what has that got to do with anything?”

He sent a LOL which immediately annoyed me because WTF,Dude? A) race is no laughing matter and B) why bring it up in an otherwise normal conversation with a woman you may or may not want to date?

I ignored him and tried to steer the conversation into more acceptable topics with the help of my tried and tested 20 questions list.

The problem is that creeps always boomerang to their default settings:


Steve followed up his earlier racial blunder with this charming (NOT!) one liner:

“I have to say I am into the natural tanned look and you fit the bill ;)”

Uhm, no Motherf***er, NO!

My friends and family circle is all kinds of mixed – I love every single colour in the f***ing wonderful rainbow that the world has to offer and I will be Gods-damned before I let anyone objectify me simply because of the colour of my skin and my mixed heritage.

Men like this asshole assume that women of colour are sluttier and more likely to put out and think that saying so in a round-about way is going to get them laid sooner…

Newsflash, Doos, I am not and you won’t.

To quote the wonderful Clive Owen:

The sad thing is that this racial fetishism is apparently the norm.

I loved my brown skin the way the amazing India Arie taught me to and that was what I chose to focus on:

F*** it! NEXT!

2 thoughts on “How I Met Your Father: the one with the fetish guy”

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