Kids, as you’ll recall, I hit the pause button on finding your Dad as a birthday present to myself in November 2017…One week and a bit into this experiment, things were going relatively well.

With my fingers getting a break from swiping left or right and my eyes lifted up and away from my phone screen, I was getting out and about in Cape Town.

Sure, I hit some bumps in the road like Mother Nature wreaking havoc on social outings:

But, this online dating detox also got me back into the habit of flirting with baristas at markets:

Him: “Enjoy your hot chocolate… maybe next time we can enjoy a coffee together?”

Me: “Only if it is as hot as you are”

Three minutes later, it was the next stall holder’s turn trying to engage me into a conversation about Wonder Woman, in relation to my wearing a branded t-shirt.

Getting hit twice in the space of minutes? Totally unheard of and I was loving it:

With every upswing,though, there has to be a downside too…

Sigh…

You’d think that with me being off dating apps, the sleazy DMs would stop but of course, I was still a magnet for online weirdos:

Lourens was clearly so turned on by my dismal walking pace on my Garmin Challenge tracker, he felt the need to say “How ya doin?” on the app AND by sending me a message on Facebook!

This wanna-be Casanova had no work place, address or content on his profile page, save for endless photos of a baby.

Oh hell no! Meet my little block button friend, brother… F*** it! NEXT!