“So, I take it you’ve seen I like to be dominated by women, right?”

This, Kids, was the hot, abs-to-bloody-die-for Jeremy’s opening line to me, after we’d swiped right on each other on Tinder in August 2017.

Had I just stumbled upon Cape Town’s Christian Grey? Oh my…

Actually, I hadn’t see this particular kink of his. I, unashamedly so, had swiped right based on his hot AF profile photo without actually reading his profile.

Yes, yes, I was a wanton hussy, falling for physical appearances.

As I may have mentioned before, I have control issues and I have always thought of myself as a female Christian with singular tastes but this interaction with Jeremy was making my inner Ana tremble in… fear? Anticipation? I don’t know!

Biting my bottom lip, I replied to his message:

“Well, I do now…”

Jeremy clearly found my dominatrix skills lacking and vanished from my inbox, never to heard from again.

Damn it, where are my handcuffs when I need them!