Hey Fazie’s kids, it’s your Uncle Tendai here and I’ve got some advice for ya…
There comes a time when you take the leap of faith and you go into a situation head first without thinking. Emotions are the worst! They take over and you find yourself doing things you thought you would never do. Oddly enough, it’s a good thing! So my advice to you – take the leap! Stop over thinking and just do it.
Last time I was here (eons ago) I wrote about how doing the wrong thing is the right thing to do. Yup! That still applies. I did the wrong thing and it was the right thing to do. It’s a weird concept but work with me here. Take the worst/best decision you’ve ever made in a situation of a relationship – building them up, lying, telling them the truth to the point that it hurts, etc. It was the wrong thing to do but at the end of it, it was the right thing to do. Wrong because you’ve wronged the person, but right because it shows how you truly felt. Your true emotions and intentions were shown when you made the selfish decision.
I did the wrong thing (again) but it was the right thing to do. A part of me says there was a better way (which is true) but at that point in time, I didn’t see it that way. So I made the call! I hurt her in ways that are insanely crazy. Hold up! I’m not saying hurting her was wrong and right. Not that at all! I had failed in a lot of things. Failed! And that’s what hurts – I fucked up the vision. And as I write this, I really wish I hadn’t fucked up the vision because it was a fucking bad ass vision.
I digress, I hurt her and I apologized for it. I fucked up the vision and it killed me. Ever since my selfish decision that I wish I could reverse, I have been catching L’s like the 76ers 28 game losing streak. Ya, the L’s keep rolling in. But I’ve been getting a couple of wins. An L turned into a massive win and I’m grateful that it has turned into a W. I feel good, I believe again and I’m feeling better than I was a month ago. I did the wrong thing but it was the right thing to do because I’m sure she’s doing well, if not better. She’s extremely strong and if you need someone to carry your weight, I recommend her. I can go on and on as to how strong she is but I can’t. Not today! It needs a sit down.
Why it was the right thing to do – I broke up with her. There was no need for her to go through another second of the pain I had caused. It was wrong because there was a better way, but it was right. Why do we go back after we break up with you? We thought we could handle a life without you. Not when it’s one of your longest friends. You can live without the relationship but you cannot live without the friendship.
Doing the wrong thing is the right thing to do. I still stand by that. It applies to the good that you do. Don’t dwell too much on the bad. It ain’t like that at all. The wrong thing to do could be focusing on her career and neglecting your own (which was the right thing). The wrong thing to do could be turning your 11 year friendship into a relationship (which was the right thing). The wrong thing to do could be…