How I Met Your Father : The One with Christmas in New York and why I don’t want to go home

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Kids,in December 2016, I travelled alone to New York City and people,who should have known better,kept asking why?

Them : “Why would you do that? And alone too? That’s crazy!”

Me (thinking it internally but I should have said it out loud): “I’m f***ing off to the other side of the world because  I am sick to death of your narrow-mindedness;  your gossiping about my sexuality; your assumptions that I must hate men and children because I have neither when it couldn’t be further from the f***ing truth and you don’t know how hard I have to work to keep my desire for having a baby under control;  because you assholes talk about me maliciously on Facebook where the world AND I can see it and you don’t even think about my feelings,do you?!!”

Like I said, there were many reasons why I travelled solo to the Big Apple but ultimately only one really mattered …my happiness.

In the space of just one week, New York quickly made me feel at home by:

1) Making me feel like a local:

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Getting lost and finding myself in the Big Apple

Sure,I got lost so many times but somehow I always ended up where I was intending on going later,like Central Park, so it worked out!

2) Inspiring me on the daily:

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Looking out at the New York City view

There were so many things to see and do in New York that inspiration  was seeping into my pores all of the time.I felt re-energised and motivated for the first time in a long time and I wanted to write again.Not just about one attraction  as I had been for the past two years but about a variety of topics!

Staring out at the city line from the Top of the Rock,  I knew it was time for a career change.

3) Putting me at ease about difficult choices I’d made previously:

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Magic on Broadway…Theatre and I will always find each other

When I left a side project as a theater reviewer in 2015 because my family needed me emotionally, physically and financially to help with my dying grandfather;  people didn’t understand and so many of them faded away from my life because I was no longer available to be frivolous and fun at a red carpet opening night three times a week.

It felt like a horrible thing at the time but I do not regret spending 2016 taking care of Pa ,our family or dedicating myself to my magic career that year either…both elements thrived because I was focused and I am eternally thankful for it.

As I took in a number of Broadway shows in December, I realised that things had come full circle and this,this opportunity right here,  to see award-winning international shows was meant to be all along.I have always been a theatre lover -I didn’t need to be “famous” to prove it.

4) Seeding a sense of wonder for myself :

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I can and WILL do anything I imagine …

Thanks to the mind and emotional f***ery of He Who Must Not Be Named; being dumped by my travel buddy; warring family wanting Pa’s estate and all of the malicious gossipers;  my sense of self-worth was f***ed royally.

Having my wits and determination to depend on to guide me and keep myself safe in the Big Apple rebirthed my self-belief.

I felt imbued with new-found confidence in the Wonder Woman I know I can be. I worked hard to get to New York again and I could do that and so much more if I just tried.

F*** the haters in my world, I am f***ing AWESOME!!

I loved New York,where I was free to be me SO much,  I didn’t want to go home …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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