How I Met Your Father: 3 reasons online dating depressed the hell out of me

Kids, in the autumn of 2016, I had pulled on my big Wonder Woman panties and decided it was time to get back into the dating game – specifically, the scary, murky world of online dating.

online dating 2

Gods …

How I wish I hadn’t!

Here are three reasons online dating depressed the hell out me:

  • Forget bimbos, guys are airheads too:

Look, I was well aware that apps like Tinder and OkCupid were not designed for long, soulful and intellectual talks but dear mother of dragons, some of the men, nay, perpetual boys, whom I was chatting to barely seemed to have a pea, let alone a brain ,between their ears.

Asking simple questions like what their favourite movies or interests were, was consistently met with “I don’t know” or “cars and money” … hell, at 30 and over, one would hope they’d experienced enough of life to develop wider preferences.

  • Being stood up was par for the damn course:

If I was keen to meet up with a potential mate, I had more of a chance of Orlando Bloom showing up that getting these online jerks to put in a guest appearance.

Oh, sure, they would be all eager in the beginning, super psyched to set up a date, time and place but when the actual day arrived, they vanished faster than a Dementor. Did I get apologies from these slime balls? Of course not!

Good manners, like dating, didn’t exist in the 21st century ..

manners don't cost nothing
Image credit: www/

I quickly learnt to agree to meet at restaurants I liked so at least I’d still enjoy myself …assholes.

  • Getting back on the online dating horse was more f***ing difficult after each failure:

No, I did not want to hear that there were plenty more fish in the internet sea … for the love of Westeros, being stood up or talking to yet another airhead felt like an assault on my heart and senses and I was tired – so tired, Kids.

The bad dating, the ever-ticking biological clock and having my social media timelines flooded with engagement, wedding and pregnancy announcements were driving me insane in 2016.

I was SO over it!

over it
Image credit:

I knew, logically, that I was already living a full life with loving my family and friends, helping to care for your ailing great-grandfather, training for a 10km marathon and living out my cosplay fantasies but it still felt like I was missing out and it was getting really, really difficult to believe that I would ever meet your father …


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Creative writer with a penchant for all things Cape Town,communications, magic and travel

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