How I Met Your Father: The one where I feel the anti-Valentine’s Day love


Kids, you know I’m not a Valentine’s Day Grinch – the fact that you get heart-shaped pancakes, your Aunt Sam’s legendary chocolate cake AND tons of hugs and kisses every hour on the hour on February 14 every year is proof of that.

The fondness for the Day of Love was something I maintained throughout my twenties and usually being single on this date didn’t bother me but … occasionally, I needed to attend a speed dating event or a party of some sort to reassure myself and your grandmother that I  wasn’t  going to end up as a crazy dog lady ( what? I am allergic to cats!).

14 February 2012 …

A group of friends , which included Bryce ( yes, he of the Indecent Proposal fame) and I got dressed up to the nines to attend local radio station 5fm ‘s Love Sucks speed dating party at an underground club in the City Centre.

While the girls and Bryce were there to partake in the lock and key speed dating set-up, I was just along for the kickass DJs, free chocolate and good drinks – come on, a girl has to have her priorities straight, you know!

Wandering about, checking out the potentials and laughing at the pick-up-lines I was overhearing, I sauntered into the kissing booth section where I had spotted the rather yummy booth holder earlier.


At R10 a smooch, I was determined to have him lay one on me and be able to say that I had least had one kiss on Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately for me, he seemed to be out on a break to give those kissable lips a rest.

Slightly disappointed, I was about to leave and go shake my booty on the dancefloor when a pair of strong arms grabbed me around my waist from behind …

Now, usually I have a “”what the f*** do you think you’re doing?” reaction to this in normal nightclubbing situations but this was a singles ‘only Valentine’s Day party and I didn’t know which hottie might have found me so irresistible they simply had to touch me. This, being my life and all, of course meant Murphy’s Law kicked in and my mysterious Lothario was …


In what was a split second swing around, he had me facing him and kissing him so quickly, I couldn’t get a handle on my bearings!

Initially too stunned to know what was happening, I quickly pushed him away and was on the verge of smacking his presumptuous ass, when he burst out laughing and I realised he was quite drunk.

“Really, Bryce? Me turning you down at the staff party wasn’t bad enough, you now have to steal kisses from me too?” I asked him peevishly.

“What? You were going to be pay that Zac Efron wanna-be to kiss you … I am way more ridiculously good-looking, you should count yourself lucky!”, he answered with a wink.

zac efron gif

Remembering how Bryce had actually used me at that long-ago staff party to hide the fact that he’d spent the night with our male co-worker and now seemed to be repeating this behaviour by drunkenly kissing me in front of witnesses seriously pissed me off!

By this time, the kissing booth operator had finally re-appeared so I shoved Bryce’s drunkard ass onto a nearby couch.

I marched over to the booth, handed over my R10 like a boss and kissed that fine specimen of man like the world was ending before heading out to join the hundreds of single, gyrating party goers for a dance fest of note.

kiss swan captain

The bright side? I got two Valentine’s Day kisses 😉


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Creative writer with a penchant for all things Cape Town,communications, magic and travel

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