Kids, it’s both my curse and my blessing that I’m the type of person others find so trust-worthy and comfortable to be with, that they share their deepest, darkest secrets, and more often than not, the banalities of their lives with me.
And look, it’s one thing when it’s the sweet old man on the bus telling me all about the crazy things his grown daughters did as children and how he misses them because they no longer visit him but when it’s a potential date asking whether or not I mind if they don’t wash their hair before our date the next day … well, just quit with the oversharing already!
Ray J 23 was a cute, aspiring chef completing a culinary degree and took a chance emailing me via the online dating site, because I was beautiful and even though I’d said I didn’t want to be contacted by anyone under 29, age is just a number, right?
I found Ray J’s approach really sweet and thought “well, why the heck not? Let’s give cradle robbing a try!” Cradle robbing is…uh… you know what, I’ll let your Dad explain that one to you.
Anyway, so there I was, having a cyber space flirtation with a delectable (or so I thought) chef-in-training, discussing dream dates, favourite meals, desirable partner traits etc for nearly a month when we agreed to a brunch date.
Since Ray J has exams, we’d have to wait until July but hey, what was a couple of months more when we already had so much to talk about and discover about each other, right?
Fast forward to the Monday before our date and Ray J suddenly started revealing all of these insecurities about our future – like what if the date went well and we started a relationship; would I be able to deal with his emotional issues and clearly I was looking to start a family, who’s to say he’d be able to provide that?
I took it all in my stride, even if I was a little freaked out by how much Ray J was end resulting and said it was just a f***ing date, no need to pick out a wedding venue yet or decide who your godparents would be, right? Just two people who might or might not like each other, meeting for coffee and Nutella banana croissants, so chill dude!
And that should have been the end of it until the date but the night before, Ray J texts me:
“Evening honey! So I really can’t wait to see you but I’ve had the flu for the past two days and due to all of the fever sweating, my hair isn’t right. Is it ok if I look crappy tomorrow?”
Wait, what?!!! Are you kidding me? What part of that text in any way sounds like it would be ok? Who the hell sends messages like this to people they want to date and/or get intimate with?
I’m all for honesty and communication but there is something like too much information. Add in all of the emotional insecurities and I could just flash-forward to years of being the caregiver and enabler for a serious hot mess.
Oh hell no! You, my darlings, and I deserve someone who has their crap together.
I politely told Ray J that maybe now was not the best time to start something when we were so obviously at different points in our lives and wished him well.
But it got me to thinking that maybe I was trying too hard to find your father… maybe what I needed was a dating break, some me time… and boy, did that lead to a couple of crazy adventures!
Next time on How I Met Your Father: Run-ins with my favourite vampire (who may or may not be your Dad).